I have always lived two lives

One of laughter and light

And of darkness and shadows

I’ve never been able to determine

Which one I truly belonged to.

So whenever I think of who I am, the image is always split into as if I am just an actress who plays a role a child playing dress up for all eternity until I finally grow out of the role.

At least that is what I thought as a child that when I grow up, I’ll stop having to hide when I grow up,I’ll be free When I grow up. I grow into the person I was meant to be whole………

Yes when I grow, is there ever going to be a day or I feel like I am a real person or are these deeply confusing thoughts simply just an exaggeration, of

my darkest fears.

Pulled out of me and distorted because my imagination is so potent & capable,

that I am enslaved to it just as I am empowered by it.

- excerpt from my dairy 06/29/23

- A poem by Hazin